-Know how to Avoid Labels. If you label someone lazy or a liar at all,
he'll feel like that for life. Worse, guys lose motivation to change
when we feel like your perception of us is set in stone. Give him
space to still win by saying, "When you didn't come to dinner with my
parents, it felt selfish, and I know that's not who you are. It would
mean a lot to me for us to spend time with them."
-you as the lady need to Reinforce His Best Moments. When he does
something even a tiny bit right, give him love and attention for it.
He gives you a small surprise? Tell him, "It's so sexy to have a man
who takes care of me the way you do." Anything that a man hears is
sexy is gold to him. (Warning: Do not use this power for evil!)
-okay now, Set Him Up to Win. Think of your early dates as a chance to
leave clues about your expectations with a little technique called
pre-framing. Say: "My friend gets annoyed because her boyfriend never
opens the car door for her. It's a shame when guys don't do those
little things." He may not have even considered opening the car door,
and all of a sudden, it's priority number one.
- Make It About Your Joy, Not His Failure. He's more of a slob than
you? don't condemn.Instead of condemning, state your standards: "I
need to live in a place that's clean. I respect that it's not a big
deal to you, but it's important to me to enjoy my home." This kills
ego.
He'll be happier to please you than admit he's wrong.
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