Are Vibrators Addictive or Numbing? Our Sex Therapist Has Your Answer

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous. Please send your sex and relationship inquiries to tips@bustle.com.

Now, on to this week’s question:

Q: So, I really like my vibrator. It's easier for me to come with one than by using my hand — plus it's more intense. I can come other ways, I just prefer my vibrator. (So sue me.) Here's what I'm worried about though — could I be conditioning myself to only come that way? Like, is it going to become more difficult for me to orgasm during intercourse or solo sessions without one the more I use it? In other words, could I become addicted to my vibrator?

A: First, let me just say: As a sex therapist, I am a pretty big fan of anything that can bring more orgasms into the world. Vibrators can be purchased easily and cheaply, and can reliably produce orgasm for the vast majority of women.

Vibrators are so reliable, in fact, that I often prescribe vibrator usage to my sex therapy clients. I have an online course for women who want to learn how to orgasm, and it includes a vibrator as part of the package p. Most women will be able to have their first orgasm thanks to the steadfast buzzing of their new toy.

That said, as vibrators have become more socially acceptable, people have started wondering about potential negative side effects of relying on them. Some of my clients have voiced concerns about vibrators desensitizing the clitoris, getting in the way of human intimacy, or creating unrealistic sexual expectations. And of course, many of us wonder, "are they addictive?"

The first public case of suspected vibrator dependency came courtesy of that infamous Sex in the City episode where Samantha introduces Charlotte to the Rabbit. While the episode helped the Rabbit become one of the best-selling sex toys of all time, the depiction of Charlotte being unable to drag herself away from her vibrator caused many to wonder if purchasing a Rabbit was really such a great idea after all.