Here's Why Some Guys Don't Like Watching Porn
It's no secret that most of mainstream porn is
geared toward straight men (in fact, that's
why Cosmopolitan.com rounded up some of
the best female-focused porn websites ), but
that doesn't necessarily mean all straight men
are into it. In this week's Sex Talk Realness,
we reached out to three dudes who decided to
ditch watching porn for other methods of
~erotica~, or just straight-up imagination, to
find out why they made that choice and how
it changed their sex lives IRL.
How old are you?
Man A: Twenty-six.
Man B: Twenty-three.
Man C: Twenty-six.
What's your sexual orientation?
Man A: Straight.
Man B: Straight.
Man C: Straight.
Are you in a relationship?
Man A: Casually, yes.
Man B: Yes
Man C: Somewhat.
When did you first watch porn?
Man A: Thirteen.
Man B: Fifteen.
Man C: Middle school? Not sure.
When did you decide to stop?
Man A: Probably around 17.
Man B: This past year.
Man C: For a bit during college.
Why?
Man A: I had my first serious girlfriend at 16,
and it was just really hard to take the types of
sex I was seeing on screen and placing it on
me and my girlfriend. Like, I couldn't perform
like that, and I didn't want to get something in
my head that she was supposed to perform
like that as well. When I stopped watching, sex
became less stressful because I wasn't
comparing myself or the two of us to some
scene I saw.
Man B: I'm an Irish male, and I have found
that most porn features American women, so
when my Irish girlfriends would dirty-talk
during sex, it would irritate me and turn me
off because I had been so expectant of an
American accent once sex started, which is
insane.
Man C: I found it kind of desensitized me to
sex.
Do you look at other forms of porn (pictures,
erotica, etc.)?
Man A: I read erotic short stories. I once saw
my uncle's porno magazine, and I didn't
understand why the women were stretching
their vaginal lips so far , so I don't think that
images will ever do it for me. I'm scarred.
Man B: Imagination, baby.
Man C: No.
Do you think your attitude toward sex has
changed because of this choice? How?
Man A: Shoot, I already kind of answered, but
same kind of thing that sex became something
that was different from person to person as
opposed to trying to fit it into a formula or
something I saw happen. It was more
naturally occurring and my sex was less
stressful because it didn't feel like a
performance.
Man B: Definitely. I probably wouldn't have
realized my reliance on porn or the way that
it had messed with my head had it not been
for the American accent thing. Now, sex feels
so much more enjoyable because I'm slowly
emptying my head of that negative
connotation with my partners speaking in a
way that isn't identical to California's porn
industry.
Man C: I think it's better, because when I
wasn't watching porn, I was able to figure out
what worked best for me and my partner
rather than comparing it to something.
Have you spoken to your partner(s) about not
watching porn?
Man A: I'd say 50 percent, it never came up,
50 percent were girlfriends who were
uncomfortable with their partner watching
porn, so it worked out for all of us.
Man B: I never would have before, but after
realizing how much it warped my brain, I'm
trying to talk about it a little more.
Man C: If it comes up.
How would you feel if your partner liked watching
porn?
Man B: Even though I know how it messed
with me, I'd be turned on about it.
Man C: I wouldn't mind. It's a personal
decision.
Have you spoken to you friends about not
watching porn?
Man A: Definitely.
Man B: No.
Man C: Nah.
If so, how have they reacted?
Man A: We had a long conversation about how
erotic stories were easier to solo get down to.
But I'm sure I have a lot of friends who would
not agree.
Do you think the concept of men loving porn is
blown out of proportion, or do you feel like you're
in the minority?
Man A: I think I'm definitely in the minority.
Aziz Ansari has some joke about how he left
the country and then came back and realized
how much we are surrounded by sex, so I can
see how something like erotic short stories or
your own imagination wouldn't be enough to
get you going. So I don't think men watching
porn is blown out of proportion, [but] I'd
probably lean more toward women watching
porn [as] something that we don't talk enough
about or acknowledge enough.
Man B: I don't think I know one dude who
doesn't watch porn.
Man C: I couldn't say, since I don't really talk
to people about it that much.
Do you think you'll ever try watching porn again?
Man A: At this point, not watching porn has
become my "I don't have a TV" or "I'm not on
Facebook," so I'm attempting to keep the
streak alive.
Man B: I'm assuming I will.
Man C: Yeah, I've definitely gone back to it a
few times since so probably will again in the
future.
No comments:
Post a Comment