Adult stars reveal how many time they do this in 1 day

 Adult stars reveal how many time they do this in 1 day

P.rn actors and actresses have shed light on their daily routine in a new video by YouTube series “Ask A P.rn Star”.

Tyler Knight said that he’s done as many as four scenes in a day

Adult film celebrities have confessed that their busiest working days involved shooting two or three scenes in a day…
However, some of them are more hard-working — Aubrey Snow once performed erotic and intimate acts in front of the camera nine times in a single day.

Adult film star Aubrey Snow once performed S3@.x:’ually for the camera nine times in a single day

She said: “Let’s think about this… nine. I did four shows in the morning, then a shoot and then I did four camera shows when I got home.”

Another P.rn star, Claire Robbins, had S3@.x:’ for about 18 hours non-stop and hd hree different scenes.#
download Mp4
She sincerely commented on he experience: “Over here [in America] a shoot day is four to six hours maybe, if it’s a feature 12 hours.

April O’Neil once did four S3.x:’ scenes in one day

When I went to France, there a normal day is 12 hours and a feature day is 18 hours. You’re f****** the entire time. It’s so long and strenuous.”
Others gave more humble numbers: from performing two to six candid scenes with multiple colleagues.

download Mp4 

This Is Why Men Have Early Morning Se-x

This Is Why Men Have Early Morning Se-x

It appears there is never a bad time to have s ex, be it in the morning, afternoon or night, and being one of the most pleasurable obligations in marriage, couples have had it at such times some people may consider ‘ungodly.’In as much as s ex has no definite time or venue before it can be enjoyed, findings have shown that men want it regularly in the morning, while women crave for it at night.
The question then is, why is it that men want s ex and are good to go for it first thing in the morning while the women often want to get in the mood late in the evening?
In justifying their findings, some scientists attributed men’s early morning desire to two things – hormones and because it could make a day better. The result of the study was published in the Mirror UK.
It is no news that men usually wake in the morning with an er*ction, feeling amorous, which is occasioned by the testosterone hormone in their body, and since a hard-on is also instrumental to s ex, that pleasurable act may just be lurking in their thoughts.
The study noted that a man’s level of s ex hormones is at the highest when he wakes up while a woman’s is at the lowest. Notably, higher testosterone levels equals higher s ex drive. Even though both men and women have testosterone, it is more present in men, known as the s ex drive or male hormone.
One of the researchers, Ashley Grossman, a professor at St Bartholomew’s Hospital, London, said even before a man opens his eyes in the morning, his level of testosterone is at its peak – between 25 per cent and 50 per cent – more than at any other time of the day.
He explained that the pituitary gland in a man’s brain – which governs the production of the male s ex hormone – has been switched on in the night and its levels have been rising steadily until dawn.
Hence, a low levels can be linked to a lack of sleep because good sleep boosts the level of the testosterone hormone in a man’s body, which can often cause an er*ction and a tendency to make the men more aggressive in pursuing s_x.

“Women also make testosterone – the main s ex drive hormone – but produce a fraction of the amount and it rises by only a tiny bit overnight, and it is also kept in balance by oestrogen and progesterone.
“Men need only a normal amount of testosterone to feel like having s ex, and the raised levels in the morning means most men will wake with er*ctions, which informs part of the reasons they want s ex then.
“Studies found that the longer and deeper a man has slept, the higher his testosterone levels and research in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows getting more than five hours’ sleep can raise the hormone levels by an extra 15 per cent,” Grossman said.
While contributing to the study, a female consultant gynaecologist based in Birmingham, Gabrielle Downey, said male and female levels are at their highest at opposite ends of the day, so they are out of synch.
She said that while the hormones secreted during men’s sleep at night trigger their s ex-in-the-morning mood, it takes more than hormones for women to be in the mood. She noted that some studies have shown that a woman’s testosterone levels are likely to increase on the anticipation of s ex with her man.
This probably means that whilst at work or closing from work, women who envisage having s ex with their partner later in the evening tend to have more testosterone levels, thus, a higher s exual drive.
Therefore, as evening approaches, while a woman’s testosterone level is heading towards its highest point, even if slowly, a man’s is dropping to the lowest level of the day. But regardless of the fact that men’s testosterone levels are now at their lowest, it is interesting to know that they are still more likely to have s ex in the evening.
“It’s been said that women need a reason and men just need a place – I think that’s true because regardless of the low male testosterone, they are still responsive,” says Gabrielle.
Should the s exual act happen eventually, the bonding hormone, oxytocin, is released, prompting most men to sleep after the s ex.
The release of oxytocin after s ex aids sleep, which is the reason why many men are notorious for falling fast asleep after making love.
According to a love network expert, Ms Michele Weiner-Davis, couples should discuss how they would meet their respective needs since the time of their interest varies.
“Each of them should be willing to do it once at the time of day when the other is ready. And if they are really exhausted or in a rush when the partner wants it, they can say no, but suggest a better, but not distant time that will work,” she said.

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Here's Why Some Guys Don't Like Watching Porn

Here's Why Some Guys Don't Like Watching Porn

It's no secret that most of mainstream porn is

geared toward straight men (in fact, that's

why Cosmopolitan.com rounded up some of

the best female-focused porn websites ), but

that doesn't necessarily mean all straight men

are into it. In this week's Sex Talk Realness,

we reached out to three dudes who decided to

ditch watching porn for other methods of

~erotica~, or just straight-up imagination, to

find out why they made that choice and how

it changed their sex lives IRL.

How old are you?

Man A: Twenty-six.

Man B: Twenty-three.

Man C: Twenty-six.

What's your sexual orientation?

Man A: Straight.

Man B: Straight.

Man C: Straight.

Are you in a relationship?

Man A: Casually, yes.

Man B: Yes

Man C: Somewhat.

When did you first watch porn?

Man A: Thirteen.

Man B: Fifteen.

Man C: Middle school? Not sure.

When did you decide to stop?

Man A: Probably around 17.

Man B: This past year.

Man C: For a bit during college.

Why?

Man A: I had my first serious girlfriend at 16,

and it was just really hard to take the types of

sex I was seeing on screen and placing it on

me and my girlfriend. Like, I couldn't perform

like that, and I didn't want to get something in

my head that she was supposed to perform

like that as well. When I stopped watching, sex

became less stressful because I wasn't

comparing myself or the two of us to some

scene I saw.

Man B: I'm an Irish male, and I have found

that most porn features American women, so

when my Irish girlfriends would dirty-talk

during sex, it would irritate me and turn me

off because I had been so expectant of an

American accent once sex started, which is

insane.

Man C: I found it kind of desensitized me to

sex.

Do you look at other forms of porn (pictures,

erotica, etc.)?

Man A: I read erotic short stories. I once saw

my uncle's porno magazine, and I didn't

understand why the women were stretching

their vaginal lips so far , so I don't think that

images will ever do it for me. I'm scarred.

Man B: Imagination, baby.

Man C: No.

Do you think your attitude toward sex has

changed because of this choice? How?

Man A: Shoot, I already kind of answered, but

same kind of thing that sex became something

that was different from person to person as

opposed to trying to fit it into a formula or

something I saw happen. It was more

naturally occurring and my sex was less

stressful because it didn't feel like a

performance.

Man B: Definitely. I probably wouldn't have

realized my reliance on porn or the way that

it had messed with my head had it not been

for the American accent thing. Now, sex feels

so much more enjoyable because I'm slowly

emptying my head of that negative

connotation with my partners speaking in a

way that isn't identical to California's porn

industry.

Man C: I think it's better, because when I

wasn't watching porn, I was able to figure out

what worked best for me and my partner

rather than comparing it to something.

Have you spoken to your partner(s) about not

watching porn?

Man A: I'd say 50 percent, it never came up,

50 percent were girlfriends who were

uncomfortable with their partner watching

porn, so it worked out for all of us.

Man B: I never would have before, but after

realizing how much it warped my brain, I'm

trying to talk about it a little more.

Man C: If it comes up.

How would you feel if your partner liked watching

porn?

Man B: Even though I know how it messed

with me, I'd be turned on about it.

Man C: I wouldn't mind. It's a personal

decision.

Have you spoken to you friends about not

watching porn?

Man A: Definitely.

Man B: No.

Man C: Nah.

If so, how have they reacted?

Man A: We had a long conversation about how

erotic stories were easier to solo get down to.

But I'm sure I have a lot of friends who would

not agree.

Do you think the concept of men loving porn is

blown out of proportion, or do you feel like you're

in the minority?

Man A: I think I'm definitely in the minority.

Aziz Ansari has some joke about how he left

the country and then came back and realized

how much we are surrounded by sex, so I can

see how something like erotic short stories or

your own imagination wouldn't be enough to

get you going. So I don't think men watching

porn is blown out of proportion, [but] I'd

probably lean more toward women watching

porn [as] something that we don't talk enough

about or acknowledge enough.

Man B: I don't think I know one dude who

doesn't watch porn.

Man C: I couldn't say, since I don't really talk

to people about it that much.

Do you think you'll ever try watching porn again?

Man A: At this point, not watching porn has

become my "I don't have a TV" or "I'm not on

Facebook," so I'm attempting to keep the

streak alive.

Man B: I'm assuming I will.

Man C: Yeah, I've definitely gone back to it a

few times since so probably will again in the

future.

Sex: The Love Limit

 The Love Limit

Regular sex (and its primary side effect, orgasm) brings serious health benefits: It can cure insomnia, relieve pain, and reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease, depression, Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, bladder problems, and more, research suggests. Its power stems mostly from its aerobic element and stress-relieving effects. "You can't be worrying about a problem when you're having an orgasm," points out psychologist Laurie Mintz, author of A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex.
If sex is a wonder drug, though, few researchers are working out the best dosage—the amount needed for maximum benefit. While large studies examining orgasms' effects on mortality and health frequently find a linear relationship (more sex, better health, period), the research often deems two or more orgasms per week "frequent." Might an upper limit exist, unnoticed at the extreme end of the scale?
One study of 112 couples suggests that moderation is key. Carl Charnetski, a psychologist at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, found that couples who got it on twice a week had 30 percent higher levels of an important bug-fighting antibody than did less sexually active pairs. But any additional romps—three or four times a week—vitiated the immunity boost.
Opioid peptides, which are released during pleasurable experiences, may account for Charnetski's rather befuddling (and, he adds, preliminary) results.
Normally, such peptides strengthen the immune system, but in excess they can act as immunosuppressants. It's unclear whether sex alone could amp up peptides to dangerous levels, but studies suggest a link between an excess of endorphins (an opioid peptide that increases during the deed) and depression, psychosis, and even immobility.
Don't adjust your schedule just yet, however: Men who ejaculate the least (zero to three times a month) and the most (21 or more times a month) have the lowest relative risk for prostate cancer. The groups right in the middle are most likely to develop the disease, according to a paper in The Journal of the American Medical Association.
Since sex kicks off such a complex set of biological responses, pinpointing an optimal orgasm count is probably impossible—not to mention unsexy. "I haven't seen any research that shows there's some critical number you need," Mintz says. Her prescription? "Whatever works."

Bed Time

How much sex are Americans having? It's hard to say, since surveys rely on participants' memory—and honesty. But Debby Herbenick, a sex researcher at Indiana University, thinks subjects love to spill: "You can't always be that candid about your sexual behavior."

• Most singles aren't swinging. Among 30-somethings, more than 77 percent of spouses have sex two-plus times a month. For singles, that's true of 36 percent of men and 17 percent of women.
• Youngins get busy. Forty-three percent of married men in their late 20s have sex twice a week or more, while 7 percent of husbands older than 70 do.
• The most active demo: married couples age 18-24. More than 60 percent get it on twice a week or more.

Why Do We Have Sex?

Why Do We Have Sex?

 

Why do you sleep at night? This is seemingly a simple question. But in fact it is a most difficult question, as of yet unanswered by science. Many seemingly simple questions are, on close inspection, not at all easy to answer. One of these—perhaps the most interesting—is why we have sex.
Why do you want sex? The usual answer is, of course, based on the known reproductive function of sex. We want sex because our continued existence as a species depends on it. Children come from sex, one learns. And the thing about the stork is just a story.
But the facts on the ground undermine this assumption. First, people continue to engage in sex long after they have stopped having children. Often, their sex lives actually get better, because there are no more worries about unplanned pregnancy (or, a bit later, about Junior popping up bedside mid-action saying he needs to pee).
Which leads us to the following fact: most sex happening right now around the world is not procreative. On the contrary, most of those getting busy at this moment would be shocked and upset to find that their joyful acrobatics have resulted in pregnancy. An intense interest in sex and eroticism is not necessarily linked to heightened interest in producing offspring. In fact, those interests are often inversely related.
Moreover, many sexual behaviors we commonly engage in, even in the fertile years, are not related to reproduction at all. If sex is for reproduction, how is the mechanism of sexual pleasure organized regarding anal or oral sex? And why are you holding hands with your boyfriend? Children do not come of it. Besides, you also hold hands with your three-year-old niece. What's going on here? And what is reproductive about someone pulling your hair? In fact, why does the business of genital, reproductive pleasure spread to all kinds of remote areas not related to reproduction, such as shoulders (very sexy in the nineteenth century), the neck (sexual attraction in Japanese culture), or breasts (contemporary American obsession)? And if a man has a biological urge to find a good mother for his offspring, why do men routinely differentiate between a ‘sexy’ woman and a ‘motherly’ one, and prefer the former to the latter?
Now you say, “Okay, let’s forget all the biology. Why complicate things? Sex feels good. It is a pleasure. I have sex for fun.” But that argument is unsatisfactory as well. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure is NOT the most important reason for sexual activity.
Research shows that the physical pleasure of genital stimulation is not necessarily an important component in the decision to have sex. Researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss a few years ago asked 400 students about their reasons for engaging in sex. After processing the data and eliminating similar or identical answers, they were left with a list of 237 different reasons for sex, including "I wanted to give him an STD,” "I felt sorry for him", "To punish myself", and "I lost a bet."
The truth is, many people are having sex right now without pleasure or any expectation of it. If it’s pleasure you want, if you desire a nice orgasm, you'll get there faster—and cheaper, with more certainty and less risk of pregnancy and disease—through masturbation. So why are you having sex with your partner? And why, when you do masturbate, are you fantasizing about him (or about someone, anyway)?

It turns out that the deep experience of sexual pleasure depends somehow on the presence, and conduct, of others. A brutal illustration of this principle can be found in prostitution. On its face, prostitution is a cold business—the epitome of (mostly male) selfish pleasure seeking. The customer buys physical sexual release for money, plain and simple. But the customer can give himself an orgasm, for free. So why pay? And why is the customer's enjoyment increased if the prostitute produces the sounds of enjoyment and sexual arousal? If the client's motivation is selfish sexual release, the satisfaction of a biological urge, why does it matter to him if the prostitute is aroused? What excites him about the thought that she is enjoying herself? Fundamental social, interpersonal dynamics are apparently present even here, inside the most alienated transaction.

Beyond that, let's face it, sex is not automatically enjoyable. Remember your first sexual experience. It was not fun. Some mouth-breathing, pimpled nudnik from chemistry class felt you up in the back seat of your dad’s Chevy, forced a wet tongue into your ear because his friend saw something on the Internet about how that’s what you’re supposed to do. And then he asked if you came. Or take for example the business of kissing. What is fun in exchanging saliva and dinner remnants with someone else? Even if we focus on the genitals, most of the sexual organs are very sensitive to touch—for better or worse. If someone touches your genitals clumsily, or when you're not ready or do not want to be touched, the contact will be painful, offensive, and disgusting, not exciting and pleasurable. Good sex is learned; you have to work for it. It does not show up on its own. And it is not just about you alone. Sexual pleasure, it seems, is set up, operated, defined, and organized by external factors.
Randall Collins, the great American sociologist who’s been writing on the subject for decades (and on whose work many of the musings above are based), argues quite persuasively that human sexuality can be fully understood only in a social context. Human beings, fundamentally, are distinctly, spectacularly social. Lonely and isolated, we cannot survive, let alone thrive. For us, power and meaning emerge through making connections. Sexual desire, thus, is not chiefly aimed at physical pleasure or the production of children, but at connectedness with others. Sexual pleasure is fundamentally a social construct, an emergent property of social exchange.
According to Collins, we construct our world in an ongoing series of complex 'interaction rituals' that enable our existence (physical) and give it meaning (mental, spiritual). All aspects of our lives are conducted through these ceremonies. Conversations between friends, a day's work, a football game, Sunday at church—all these are interaction rituals. They may be different in content, but they are similar in their underlying social and psychological processes: they all involve gathering people into a group whose members are aware of each other, directing their attention to a common interest, sharing a strong emerging emotion, and defining clear boundaries between 'us' and 'them'.
In this context, sex is an interactive ritual, and it follows the rules. In a sexual encounter, a small group gathers (usually two, no more). Participants are aware of the presence of the other (no one ever tells you in the middle of intercourse, "Wow, I just noticed you are here"), and their attention is directed to the common interest (they 'make love'). Participants share a powerful emotion, in this case sexual arousal, and construct a clear definition of ‘us' and 'them', ('us' are in here having sex, and ‘them’, poor slobs, are outside; they should not watch us, interrupt us, or even know all the particulars about that we’re doing).
The results of such interaction rituals—whether at church or in bed--are also predictable: the solidarity between participants increases (at church, we’re united under God; in bed, we’re faithful to each other), the mental energy builds up (I'm strong in my faith; I am deeply in love). From the encounter, especially if it’s repeated, canonical memories will be chosen to symbolize the relationship to the partners (forty years in the desert; forty minutes at that boutique hotel in Ventura), certain objects will be imbued with a sacred quality (a cross; a wedding ring), and certain gestures will be chosen to clarify the boundaries of the relationship--demarcate what is ours only and distinguishes us from others (we drink the blood of Christ; only we can touch each other there).
According to Collins, a thorough understanding of sexuality is only possible if we look at it from the perspective of the social context, rather than examining it from the perspective of the individual. The dancer becomes such by virtue of the existence of the dance. Instead of saying "Every dog has its day," we should say, "Every day has its dog." You and your lover do not bring your sexual pleasure to the relationship. You get sexual pleasure from the relationship. Your body parts do not charge the relationship with sexual pleasure. The interaction charges your body with sexual pleasure. Pleasure is not derived from the physical stimulation of the genitals or from the possibility of giving birth to the next Bill Gates. In its most fundamental sense, sexual pleasure is derived from the synchronized cooperation between people. The whole of human contact is larger than the sum of its participating individual parts—possessing better resilience, greater wisdom, and deeper delights. Therefore we seek that whole everywhere, including in sex.
At the end of the day, sex is truly pleasurable because through it we may transcend our aloneness and form a meaningful bond with another human being.

 

Why More Young Adults Aren't Having Sex?

 Why More Young Adults Aren't Having Sex?

 

There are: In a new paper, we find that twice as many 20 to 24-year-olds born in the 1990s (15%) have not had sex since turning 18, compared to only 6% of 10- to 24-year-olds born in the late 1960s. The same pattern appeared in a more comprehensive analysis including adults of all ages that more precisely controlled for age. In a Washington Post article covering the study, young people mentioned a variety of reasons for not having sex, from doing other things to just not wanting to take the risk of a messy sexual relationship.
I can hear the collective reaction: Whaaaa? With all of the sex pervading the culture, how can this be? But this isn’t the only study to find this pattern – teens are also less likely to have sex now. In data from a biannual survey done by the Centers for Disease Control, 41% of high school students in 2015 had had sex, down from 54% in 1991.
The next question is why: Why are more Millennials and iGen putting off sex? The why question is always tough to answer in data like this: You can see what changes at the same time that might be related, but it’s virtually impossible to say for sure if it’s the cause. Correlation (or co-occurence) is not causation. But there is one sure-fire rule here: If something doesn’t change in the right direction, then it can’t be the cause.
That immediately rules out one of the explanations I keep hearing. In the Washington Post article, several experts theorized that young people today are too busy working and studying to have sex. But that isn’t true: In fact, teens and young adults in their early 20s are less likely to be working than they were 10 years ago. High school students in the 2010s spent less time on homework than their predecessors in the early 1990s, and several studies have found that college students in recent years study less than their counterparts in earlier decades – earlier decades when young adults were much more likely to be getting it on. Somehow Boomers and GenX’ers found the time for both.
That might be because they were not on their phones all the time. That’s another possible cause of the decline of sex: Young people (and possibly all of us) are so busy texting, watching YouTube videos, using Snapchat filters, and so on that they’re not having sex. More precisely, if these online forms of communication have replaced getting together in person, there are fewer opportunities to have sex. Or sex just isn’t as attractive when there are so many other ways to entertain yourself. Sometimes when you say you want to “Netflix and Chill” (a recent euphemism for sex), you might want to actually Netflix and Chill.
Or watch some porn. Pornography has become incredibly accessible, and for some young people watching it might be enough. Others might find actual sex disappointing after watching so much porn. In a recent cover story in Time magazine, several young men said they cannot perform sexually with real women because only porn excites them.
There’s another possibility: Millennials and iGen are growing up more slowly. The average age at first marriage and first birth has been going up for awhile now. GenX’ers had sex earlier than Boomers and Silents but married and had kids later. Now, late Millennials and iGen are putting off everything. Sex is joining the late to adulthood party. That could be situational: More Millennials live with their parents, not a sexy situation.
This is an interesting dilemma: We live in an era when premarital sex is more acceptable than ever, part of a wide-ranging theme of more individualism. That’s the primary focus of my book Generation Me: Each generation becomes more focused on the self and less on following social rules. In that system, premarital sex is fine: If it feels good, do it. There’s a corollary, though: It’s also fine to not do it. Individualism also means the freedom to not have sex.
There’s a related trend here: Millennials and iGen are, at least physically, the safest generation in modern times, and possibly in history. Deaths from homicides and car accidents are at the lowest levels they’ve been in decades. Individualism (combined with economic pressures and birth control) means fewer children per family, and that means a generation brought up to be very, very careful. If that caution extends to sex, putting off sexuality might be attractive. That’s particularly true due to iGen’s recent tendency to emphasize not just physical safety but emotional safety -- which is, for example, the impetus behind recent college campus trends such as safe spaces and trigger warnings. iGen in particular does not want to get hurt, and sexual relationships are messy things.
So is this trend toward later sex good or bad? I’d love to hear what you think. I can see both sides: Waiting until you are ready to have sex is always a good idea. But, especially when you’re in your early 20s, sex is one of the best parts of life. Enjoy it now, before your energy starts to fade and family and career pressures mount. Netflix can wait.


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6 Ways to Be the Best Sex He's Ever Had

When it comes to knowing what makes your partner tick in the bedroom, tutorials on "mind-blowing sex positions" only get you so far. To discuss a few practical ways couples can actually have more stimulating and gratifying sex, we sought out Dr. Bea Jaffrey, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist based in Switzerland. Below are some tips from her new book on how to overcome common sex issues, 159 Mistakes Couples Make in the Bedroom.

Tell Him What Turns You On

Research suggests that better communication is key to better sex, and no, we don't necessarily mean dirty talk. Communicating what you like and don't like can be instructional and informative as you get to know each other's bodies. If he's doing something you like, say so rather than relying on ambiguous gestures or noises. And if it's something you're not into, communicate that or guide him in a new direction. Want to try a different angle? Suggest one. If simultaneous orgasm is your goal and you're close to climaxing, don't be mum about it.

Don't Underestimate the Power of Praise

In a 2016 study published in the Journal of Sex Research, researchers analyzed answers from 39,000 heterosexual couples that were married or cohabiting for over three years. Sexual satisfaction reported to be higher among the couples who revealed that they gave each other positive affirmation during sex and were open enough about embarrassing moments during sex to joke about them and move on. Dr. Jaffrey notes that this lighthearted approach to sex is key, saying, "Don't take life too seriously. Happy couples laugh together."

Keep Things Spontaneous

Even great sex can start to feel monotonous over time if it's more or less the same old routine. To mix things up, Marie Claire's guy expert Lodro Rinzler suggests that "if you're in bed with someone and have a sense of something new you or your partner might enjoy, be it some teasing, a change in position, anything…go for it. Men love it when women are spontaneous and confident in their ability in bed."

Dr. Jaffrey also recommends switching up the time and place to avoid falling into a rut of once-a-week "duty sex." "Try new places to have sex, maybe on the sofa, in the car or on the kitchen countertops? Or how about the back row of a movie theater? Be careful though because sex is illegal in public places. Try role-playing...take a bath together. Be inventive, have fun."

Think of Foreplay as a Long-Term Act

Jaffrey notes that setting the mood for sex is vital, for women especially, and that foreplay should start long before sex even begins: "I am talking here about the mental foreplay that happens days in advance, not the one that you have just before sex. Make sure to be attentive to your partner. Small gestures and nice comments are significant to setting the right mood for sex." She also suggests keeping up communication during the day through texts or emails.

Exercise and Don't Skimp on the D (the *Vitamin* D)

If anyone doubted the power of exercise, there's a good chance the Class Pass subscription you passed up this year is affecting your sex drive. "Exercise improves circulation in the body, and that includes the blood flow to your genital area, consequently increasing the desire and lifting your mood". We're sure those endorphins don't hurt.

And as for those of us city dwellers lacking in vitamin D? "Even during the summer, we don't get enough vitamin D because we're scared of the UV rays causing us skin cancer and premature aging," says Dr. Jaffrey. "Though too much sun can be damaging to the skin, Vitamin D is essential for estrogen production in women and testosterone production in men. It boosts your libido so if you feel friskier during the summer, this is the reason." Our pressing spring feverquestions answered? We think yes.

Go for Morning Sex or Afternoon Delight

Dr. Jaffrey notes in her new book that a major reason for mismatched desire between couples is the way men and women handle stress during the week. Men, she says, see sex as a stress reliever while women want to have sex after they've had time to unwind. As a result, women tend to go to bed exhausted, their minds focused on preparing for the next day.

Her solution? "A better alternative is to have sex in the morning. Set the alarm 30 minutes before your usual time and see what happens. Men's testosterone levels peak in the morning so you might be pleasantly surprised...Another alternative would be to have afternoon sex on weekends. Interestingly enough, women tend to ovulate in the afternoon, meaning that the optimal hormone level for female sexual desire happens at that time."

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4 Things to Say to Someone Sharing Their Sexual Assault Story

In recent years, campus sexual assault has taken center stage in the media.

Unfortunately, survivors being placed in the spotlight often means their pleas to be heard are dismissed, disrespected and disgraced. For each outpouring of support and understanding, there is an equal amount of shaming and even vilifying survivors. And it has to stop.

It’s not just survivors of campus sexual assault, but those who were subject to any kind of sexual violence are at risk of receiving a similar backlash.

Each person who has shared their sexual assault experience probably remembers hearing something hurtful in response. Even if they chose not to share, the harmful attitudes people spout off still affect people—it may even be part of the reason they don’t share in the first place.

It is time to change that. Survivors’ bravery to tell someone about what happened should result in feelings like relief, acceptance and safety.

Whether you are aware or not, you know someone who has experienced sexual violence. If they choose to disclose their experiences with you, you have a duty to be supportive and understanding. Here is what we need to say to survivors who share their stories with us:

I believe you.

One of the biggest uphill battles survivors face is getting other people to believe their experiences. If someone seeks a compassionate confidant or a police officer willing to help them press charges, they need someone who believes them. Whether due to stigmatized beliefs about women or the misguided expectations for how a victim “should” act (or a combination of both) too often people choose not to believe. The fact that 9 out of 10 victims are female means that male victims face a special breed of refusal to accept their assaults.

While Law & Order: Special Victims Unit may portray an entertaining story, the truth is there isn’t a Detective Benson in every precinct who can convince each survivor to press charges, testify and expose themselves to the rigors of court. Nor should there be! The fact that the person hasn’t gone to the police should not affect someone’s willingness to accept their story. No matter what, it is the person’s choice what they do next.

By telling someone you believe them, you are making that uphill battle just the slightest bit more easy to navigate. Having a crew of people—or even just one—who validates your experiences, can carry someone through the toughest of times. This is the place to start. Tell them you believe their story.

It is not your fault.

Vice President Joe Biden delivered a speech last week to the first-ever United States of Women Summit, in which he explained, “Sex without consent is rape. It is, full stop, rape.” This breakdown shows where people muddy the waters with consent, when the reality is actually crystal clear. If there is no consent, a violation has occurred. The victim has absolutely no responsibility in the actions of the person who did the violating. Period.

Because there is a ludicrous, abstract set of standards for what describes the “perfect victim,” these absolute facts can become lost on people. There is a part of me that hopes this is partially because, deep down, we do not want to believe such atrocious acts can happen in the world. But, we all know that dangerous attitudes about women, sexuality, men and the very concept of consent, strongly dictate where people place blame.

Survivors must be surrounded by the message that what happened is truly, absolutely and unequivocally not their fault. Even without the outside world hurling blame at survivors, the human mind can still stir up misguided guilt while it processes what happened. Let the person who is sharing know that you recognize the responsibility for their assault lies solely with the person who committed it.

You are not alone.

According to RAINN, an American is sexually assaulted every two minutes. When we take emotion and individuality out of the equation, the numbers spell out just how pervasive these experiences are. The simple math tells us that survivors are very much not alone. Because of this fact, however, there are organizations, support hotlines, counseling, support groups, online safe spaces and other forms of support that are widespread and active in providing care to people who have been victimized.

Being a good friend is a way of building the person’s support network and reminding them that they are also not alone in the sense of having caring people around them. If you feel they would benefit from knowing about other opportunities for help, share these opportunities with them, too.

You still have, and will always have, worth.

Self-worth comes under attack after enduring sexual violence. Internal and external factors affect someone’s perception of themselves and it is vital to remind survivors that they still have, and will always have, value.

Worth comes in a variety of shapes and sizes, from how we value ourselves in relation to other people, to ourselves, to society, to the planet and beyond. All of these can be left feeling less than intact after trauma. Validating the notion that a survivor’s self-worth hasn’t changed after their ordeal is essential. Let them know that even if they don’t feel as if their worth is significant, you do, and that will never change.

This list is by far not exhaustive. Please share what you believe to be other essential messages survivors should hear from their allies—and be sure to share with them directly if they come to you with their account.

My Boyfriend Seems Fixated On Sex

My boyfriend swears he's not just in it for sex, but the topic still comes up way too often for my taste. We don't have sex all the time, but he seems rather fixated on it. It's not that I don't like him that way, but how can I redirect the conversation or get him to initiate time outside the bedroom??

Any time a guy's sexual ego is involved, it's tricky, but you shouldn't make a tricky situation even more difficult by dancing around your worry. Some might say you should send a bunch of subtle signals, hint around what's really bothering you, or distract him with sly tricks. But that's only going to make an awkward situation messier. So do something so simple it just might work: Talk to him. Tell him what's bothering you. Ask for what you want.

Tell him you love sex but you'd also like to do more with him. Tell him you love talking about sex but sometimes it's a little too much. And tell him you have a great time in the bedroom but you'd like to have good times with him outside the house too. Tell him, since you're the only one initiating PG-rated plans, it makes you feel like he doesn't value the rest of your relationship and you'd love it if he would plan some activities for you outside the bedroom.

Sex can be hard to talk about, but you shouldn't avoid the issue or approach it like it's a ticking time bomb about to explode if you cut the wrong wire. It's healthy to talk about this stuff and it's OK to disagree. Remember that every disagreement doesn't have to become a fight. And remember that every fight doesn't have to become a crisis.

One last note: If you're going to tell him you want to do things other than sex, you'd better come up with some specific alternatives. If not sex, then what do you want to do? Make some plans and be ready with an answer. Help him understand the kinds of things you'd like him to ask you to do. In fact, during your first serious chat about this, suggest something you two can do immediately so he understands what you mean right away.

I came across this guy online two years ago, and we hit it off. Very recently we met, and since we were attracted to one another, we ended up having sex, where I lost my virginity to him. He even came to my city for a weekend. We chat, Snapchat, sex chat at times too. I'm sure he really likes me but would never date me since he has made it pretty clear that life is short and he wants to die with no regrets. Now my problem here is, I'm OK being in an open relationship. But he is getting whatever he wants while I'm not. Is it wrong to go with the flow and keep indulging in these activities with him? Or shall I take a stand and put an end to this? This is the only kind of relationship I have ever been in. And the romantic part of me believes in fairy tales, looking for someone to sweep me off my feet. But the logic in me asks me to go with the flow. Because in a way, there's nothing wrong being in an open relationship. How should I look at this whole situation?

First, please remember there are different kinds of relationships — and there are even different sorts of open relationships, if that's what you want. A lot of people feel like if they agree to a non-monogamous situation, they can't demand anything else — including common courtesy, romance, or respect. But that's not true. Just because your relationship isn't exclusive doesn't mean it has to be solely physical or meaningless or non-negotiable.

You've had fun, and that's wonderful, but it's only been fun. This guy's focused on playing the field and worries that he would regret dating you seriously. You want more, and you deserve more. That's why you'll regret staying with him much longer.

Whether you're monogamous or not, you can find a guy who cares about more than sex — a guy who truly cares about you and makes you feel good. That's no fairytale fantasy.

Here's why I think you should end this relationship: You say this guy is "getting whatever he wants while I'm not." In this case, that's reason enough. What you want but aren't getting seems clear: You want someone who's crazy about you and invests some real energy in your relationship. That's not, in any way, an unrealistic expectation. It's certainly not too much to ask. There are exactly zero reasons you should settle for someone who's not wild about you.

There's no shame in moving on. Simply tell this guy you enjoyed your time together, but you've realized that you're looking for different things. You don't need to fight; you just need to end this.

As you do go forward, please try to think less about what you can make work and more about what you want. Try to worry less about what you can tolerate and more about what and who makes you feel loved. Please don't settle for someone because you fit into his plan. Keep chasing your own happiness.

Where is the best place to meet good men? I'm a couple semesters away from finally finishing my undergrad degree and work part-time. I'm not interested in college boys (I also tend to be older than them) and I'm one of the youngest people at my job (everyone else is at least 15 years older than me). I tried Tinder but most of the guys on there only want sex and I'm looking for something more substantial than that. In addition, I find that the majority of men I meet even at school and through my job are only interested in casual relationships. I don't want to keep wasting my time with crappy men. Where have all the good men gone?

I hear you — and I understand your frustration. But I hate to break it to you: There's no Good Guy Nightclub where only the nice guys want to dance with you. There's no Good Guy Saloon where only the most respectful gentlemen offer to buy you a drink. And there's no Good Guy Dating Site where only the sweetest men will ask you out. Dating is just as complicated as the rest of the world: a roiling mess of the awful, the mediocre, and the wonderful.

Besides, your idea of a "good man" is going to be different from everyone else's. So my advice is this: Don't just think about where to find a good man. Think about what kind of man would be good for you. And follow your own interests, because they'll probably lead you to him.

If your spirituality is important, go to your church, temple, or vegan drum gathering, and keep an eye out for men who see the world in the same way. If you're into sports or cooking or chess or charity, join a group and see who else shows up. If you like the music scene, hit the clubs. If you're passionate about politics, volunteer for a campaign.

And don't give up on online dating. It's just too popular now to rule out entirely. Think of it like this: If you want a cocktail, you should go to a bar. If you want a car, you should go to an auto dealership. And if you want a date, the most efficient place is to find a date now is an online dating site. Besides, many guys have become so accustomed to straightforward online dating that they've forgotten how to pick up signals IRL.

These days, it's less about deciding whether to date online than it is figuring out how to use these apps and sites wisely for yourself. (Since you're bound to meet some awful dudes and some good guys wherever you go, part of online dating is learning to move on from the totally random bad dates before you waste too much time.) Tinder is, by definition, the most superficial app, since it's all about photos. So maybe you should try a site like Bumble or Hinge (which will introduce you to friends of friends) or a relatively old-school site like Match or OkCupid or eHarmony, where you can use the substance of your profile (and not just your profile photo) to draw in a match who's interested in more than your looks. I wish there were an easy answer, but remember the old line:Anything in life worth having is worth working for. A good guy is worth waiting for too.